Five days left.....

...to wait.  I'm halfway there.  I've survived the weekend.  Well, almost.  It's after 6:00.  I think I can busy myself until bedtime and not think too much about IT for the rest of the night.  Then, maybe if I run to the bathroom in the morning and jump straight in the shower when I get up at 5:30, I won't be tempted to test.  Because that's what I DON'T need to do.  At least, not yet.

After much discussion with J (who was no help whatsoever with, "whatever you want to do is fine..."), I have decided that I will test on Thursday morning.  That's what we did last time.  We tested on Thanksgiving morning.  Beta is scheduled for Friday, but I am not taking any time off work.  I'll just go to the clinic where J works after school.  We have somewhat of a plan.  First off, you may think I'm crazy when I explain this.  I don't want them to call me with the results.  For one thing, if it's bad news, I don't want to hear it from them.  I want to be alone with J so I can be reduced to tears without causing a scene.  I also don't want J to have to make that phonecall to me, either.  If it's good news, I don't want him to know before me and I don't want to find out without him. 

So here's our plan: my mom will pick me up at my house after school on Friday and drive me to the clinic.  We'll wait, I'll get my blood drawn, and they'll send it through the window with at STAT label.  Mom and I will go shop or something until J gets off (probably about an hour or so), then he'll meet up with us someplace.  We'll grab some dinner and head home to check on the results together.  Alone.  And I know better than to get excited if they're positive.  One positive test doesn't mean anything, it seems.  So there.  That's the plan.  For now.  Please keep in mind that I am quite hormonal and reserve the right to change my mind.  A  lot.  Which I may do, depending on what I see on that stick on Thursday morning. 

*Sigh*

Hugs and baby dust,