Needles--more needles. Yuck!

I updated all the important information yesterday, but after J got home someone called from my doctor's office to make sure we were informed of the 2nd beta results.  When J told her that we knew, they talked for a moment and he mentioned that I was hoping they would switch my progesterone supplement tomorrow (which is today).  She said she would fax them the results of both Saturday's and yesterday's tests, then, since she was originally planning to fax them all together after tomorrow's 3rd test.  Whew!  I felt sure that would mean a trip to the pharmacy today, which I would gladly make--or likely, send J on. 

So, I went to school this morning with my cell phone on vibrate in my pocket so I could attempt to catch the phonecall from my nurse, which I felt sure would come.  But coverage is spotty at best in our school building (it almost makes me mad at the great coverage we have right outside the door in the parking lot), and I thought I'd at least feel the vibration of the voicemail alert when/if she called.  At lunch, I felt that familiar vibration and checked my phone.  I had just enough signal to check the message.  It was, indeed, from my IVF nurse.  She was just calling to let me know that she had received the results of my test on Saturday and it was positive.  While she was talking, apparently someone brought her the results of Monday's test, too, so she told me to go for one more repeat beta on Wednesday and *gulp* to continue the progesterone injections like I've been doing.  Great.  Not exactly what I was expecting, but I guess I'll do what I have to do.  *sigh*  This, too, shall pass, I suppose. 

Thanks so much everybody for the well wishes.  This is all surreal.  I can hardly believe that all those comments I keep reading are for me.  Those are comments I read on other people's blogs.  I really appreciate the support, especiallly considering that I'm a pretty sorry commentor myself.  I read your posts, but sometimes I can't think of anything interesting to contribute that someone else hasn't already said.  A pathetic excuse, I know, but it's the best I can come up with.  I will try to do better.  I promise.  I love you all.

Hugs and love,

Beta #1 and #2 are in...

Beta 1 was taken on Saturday, but we later found out the lab doesn't process "that test" on Saturdays.  So, we had to wait until today for the results.  It came in at 57.5.  I went in this afternoon for beta #2, and it was 153.  I don't know much about these numbers, and was a little disappointed in the first one, but my OB/GYN's office (where I had the tests done) was pleased with the results.  One more on Wednesday, and I'm (hopefully) done with the beta testing.  I'm crossing my fingers that the RE's office will switch my progesterone to a different form tomorrow.  My rear is sore from all those needle sticks!

Hugs and love,

I got an F in Patience...

...but that's okay, because this is the most beautiful sight I've ever seen!

We decided we just didn't want to wait until Monday for the results, and I kept second-guessing those internet cheapies I'd been testing with.  So, when we went out to do a little shopping this evening after our company left, J and I picked up a digital test just so we'd have some answers.  I took it as soon as we got home.  I don't know what to say.  We have a lot to be thankful for.  I just wanted to document the excitement of this moment for posterity's sake. 

Hugs and love,

Grrr....

It's official.  I hate the lab.  More specifically, I hate the lab on Saturday.  Even more specifically, I hate the lab on this particular Saturday.  If you'll recall, J and I decided (after much debate) to move our beta to BG so our insurance would cover it.  Yes, when you've spent nearly $15,000 on a "project," it's nice to have someone else pick up the tab for the end result.   Nevertheless, with all the other hurdles we've had to jump, I really shouldn't have expected this last endeavor to go smoothly.

And it hasn't.  Jax woke us up at 6:30, so we went ahead and showered and dressed and headed out to the clinic bright and early.  We arrived before the scheduled opening of 8:00, but the lobby opened at 7:30 so we were able to go on in.  You apparently have to get up mighty early to beat the old people.  I was about 9th or 10th on the list when I signed in.  When they finally called me back, they asked me if my doctor was being paged with the results as they were coded STAT.  I told her that no, we were given the choice and decided that since J works there we'd just look the results up ourselves.  So they draw my blood.  No problem.  We head home to wait (and cook....we're having J's family over for Thanksgiving today). 

We had already decided not to look up the results until everyone leaves our house this afternoon, but J decided it would be a good idea just to check and make sure the results have been entered into my chart (they should have been within an hour, having been coded STAT).  At that time, it had been a little over an hour.  There were no results there.  After several phone calls, we learned that the lab does not process the quantitative beta on Saturdays.  They don't "fire up that machine."  So, no official results until Monday.  I've been testing (I know, bad girl *smack hand*) on internet cheapies since Thursday, getting a super-duper faint line each time.  It's gotten a smidgen darker, but not a lot.  J sees the line, too, so I'm not imagining it.  He suggested that we get a better test for tomorrow since I couldn't get the results today.  I've had my cry time over not learning the results yet, and I'm trying to be patient.  But it's hard.  So, so, so hard.  I've waited so long for this, though, what's another 2 days? 

You wanna know what really makes me angry about all of this?  I don't even get to tell J the news.  He'll learn it first.  Since my cell phone coverage is spotty at best at work, he'll have to just look up the results on Monday after the test has been processed and email me the results.  I've known for a long time that I would never get to surprise my husband with the news that we were expecting.  Now I've been robbed of getting tto tell him at all.  He's going to tell me.  Or that we're not.  Whichever the case may be.

Those of you who pray, pray for patience.  I could sure use some.

Hugs and love,

A change in plans...and Welcome, ICLW!

I can't believe it's nearly 8:00 and I haven't given my new visitors a proper welcome.  Please forgive me.  My southern hospitatlity is usually more evident than this.  :-)  If this is your first visit, welcome!  Sit back, and feel free to explore my previous posts.  Once upon a time, I did a themed post for each day of the week.  Lately, though, that hasn't been happening.  Perhaps I'll get back into the swing of things soon.  In September, I successfully completed a 30-day blog challenge in which I responded to a specific prompt every day of the month.  Just in case you're interested in finding out more about me...

For more about my TTC history, check out the page at the top (Our TTC Journey).  For the Cliff's Notes version, DH (J) and I have been trying to expand our family for 3+ years.  A month after our wedding, we ditched the pill and naively thought we'd be pregnant by Christmas.  Ha!  That's almost funny now.  At the present time, we are in our first IVF cycle--in which we transferred one grade A blastocyst on day 5 and ended up with 9 embryos to freeze.  Now we're playing the waiting game....waiting to test...waiting for beta.

Oh, which brings me to the first part of the title of this post.  If you've read my blog lately, you'll know that J and I have been torn on exactly when to get our beta done.  Our original appointment was scheduled for Friday morning at 8:00.  But we had our reservations about driving 82 miles one way just to get some blood drawn.  And paying for the whole thing out of pocket.  (What else is new?)  Then, last week, we learned that we had the option of sending the test out to a lab that my insurance might pay for.  So, we chose to test here at home.  (J works at a medical clinic.)  The problem?  They're closed on Friday, so I'd have to wait until Monday.  So, we decided that we'd just wait until Monday.  In all likelihood, we'd have had to wait until Monday if we sent the test to an outside lab in the first place, so what would be the difference if the blood was drawn on Friday or Monday?  Wait it would be. 

But then...last night when we went to bed, J remembered that although the clinic is closed on Friday as part of their Thanksgiving holiday, he thought the lab would be open on Saturday morning.  And there's my silver lining.  After confirming that yes, the lab would be open and yes, they do the quantitative beta in-house, I called the fertility center, explained my situation, and asked if I could get the order sent to my doctor.  Why, yes, I could.  No problem!  So, we're now going to test on Saturday morning.  Granted, we still will not have "official" results until the doctor signs off on it on Monday, but at least the test will be done.  And there just might be a way to get those results early...

So, right now I'm 6dp5dt.  My rear is sore on both sides from the daily PIO injections.  I'm snippy--short-fused with J even when things aren't his fault (sorry...I love you, babe).  I'm tired.  And my boobs are sore.  Oh, and now I'm sharing all of this with complete strangers.  Oh, well. 

I'm off to do some commenting.  If I don't make it to your blog today, please forgive me.  I'll be by soon!

Hugs and love,

Just another one of life's tough decisions...

When I went for my progesterone test on Wednesday, the nurse told me that my next appointment was next Friday for my first beta.  (As if I really needed to be reminded of that....there was absolutely no danger that I would forget.)  She said that when I came in for that I would have two options: 1) I could have the test processed there at the fertility center or 2) I could have the blood sent to an outside lab where my insurance might pay for it, but I wouldn't get the results until the next day.  Once I made the decision, though, I was "stuck" with that choice for all subsequent tests (2 more if the first one is positive).  Oh, and if we have it done there the tests are $88 each (meaning we could spend as much as $264 plus a round trip drive to Nash.ville on up to 3 separate occasions--and potentially more time off work--just to get a vial of blood drawn).  So, what's a girl to do?

J and I have discussed it at length.  We decided that whether or not this worked (and we're trying very hard to remain optimistic that it will), another day or two will not change the outcome.  So our first decision was to have the test sent out.  In all likelihood, my insurance will pay for the test.  After all, it's none of their business why I need a pregnancy test, right?  Then came the second dilemma.  It's a holiday weekend.  That probably means we would not be getting any results until Monday.  When I originally scheduled my beta for 11/26, my nurse told me that since that was on the Friday after Thanksgiving, I had the option of waiting until Monday the 29th if I was going out of town for the holiday.  Since I was not, we went ahead and scheduled it for Friday.  J and I decided that if we were going to have to wait until Monday the 29th to get any results anyway, we might as well wait and do the test on Monday at the medical clinic here at home.  Make sense?  I hope so.  It should be covered by insurance that way, and we'll still get the results that day.  Good or bad, that's the decision we have come to.  So that means I've got 3 additional agonizing days to wait, but I'm saving a little cash in the process.  Can I really hold out on testing until then? 

So, I guess that means I'll get to live in my little pretend world for an extra weekend.  *sigh*  Now I have to call the fertility center on Monday (yay, more phone calls...did I mention that I hate making phone calls?) to see if I can get the order for the test sent here instead.  I also need to ask them if they have any sort of medication donation program.  (Maybe if I write about it here, I'll remember.)  I have two unopened 300 IU cartridges of Foll.istim.  It cost too much to go unused.  Somebody can use it. 

I'm off to play with Jax.  We're giving him a b-a-t-h today.  I'll try to snap some new pics of him since he got his first haircut last week.  Everybody have a great weekend!

Hugs and love,

One more blood test...

I traveled back to Nash.ville today for the customary progesterone test.  We got there super early, despite some mysteriously slow traffic.  But they took me right in, and I was waiting for the elevator to leave a full 25 minutes before my appointment was even scheduled.

Not much to report.  My progesterone level was 59.4.  The nurse said they like to see 30 or better at this point, so I'm good there.  I have to just keep on injecting 1cc of progesterone in oil daily until the first beta next Friday.  8 long days way.  Will I ever make it that long?  It seems like this enire cycle has gone by so fast, but now that it's time to wait, it's dragging.  Maybe going back to work tomorrow will help.  Then there's Thanksgiving to look forward to (although I don't like turkey, so it's not very exciting to me). But how will I make it without testing?

It's almost Friday, everybody!

Hugs and love,

Ice, ice babies!

So here I am on day 2 of bedrest.  Just for the record, I suck at bedrest.  Maybe I'm not the most energetic person in the whole world, but I find it extremely difficult to do absolutely nothing.  But for the sake of this little embie inside of me, I'm doing my darndest.

Thus far, this morning I've caught up on some TV shows I was behind on, eaten breakfast, taken my medicine, and just cleaned a little bit--I just wiped down the vanity in our bathroom as I was passing by.  (Sorry, but the appraiser is coming today at 3:00, and I didn't want to leave it in a mess.  Incidentally, should I move my sharps container before then?) 

Then I was bored.  I have some books, but I wasn't quite in the mood to read.  Perhaps in a bit.  But first, I decided to call the clinic and check in on my remaining embryos.  After all, they said they'd leave us a message today about how many they were able to freeze.  The doctor said yesterday that just from the looks of things, he expected at least 3-5 to make it to freeze.  So, that's what I was expecting...despite the fact that the paper they gave me yesterday said there were still 14 in culture.  I dialed the number and listened for the familiar, "Please enter  your mailbox number."  I did.  Then, "Please enter your password."  Why is it called a password?  I thought words were a collection of letters.  My password is a four-digit number.  But, I digress.  I entered the required digits and they butterflies returned when I heard those magic words, "You have 1 new message."  Surely it couldn't be a good thing for them to have left me a message so early.  It wasn't even 9:00, after all.  But I punched through the menu to get to my message.  Imagine my surprise when Shawn from the lab informed me via voicemail that they froze a total of 9 of our embryos.  Nine!  We have 9 potential babies on ice!

I'm trying very hard to be optimistic about this fresh cycle, but I'll have to admit it does help just a litle bit to know that we do have some back-up tries.  I often question why we were stricken with the terrible curse of infertility.  Why us, when so many people become pregnant so easily?  But recently I've changed my attitude.  Why not us?  Nobody deserves this any more than anyone else.  So, maybe we've had a few more hurdles to jump than some.  Okay.  We've jumped them.  Now, we're just waiting for the reward.  Thanks for stopping by.  I hope you have a blessed day.

Hugs and love,

I'm PUPO!

Wow, that even felt weird typing.  But it's true!  Today, we traveled to Nash.ville for our day 5 transfer.  The hardest part for me was arriving after a 90 minute drive with a full bladder.  I'm used to guzzling water on the way down in an attempt to make the blood draws easier, but I always stopped by the restroom on my way up.  I couldn't do that today--they broke my routine. 

My doctor wasn't performing transfers today (there are 4 in the practice), but the same doctor that performed my retrieval last week was on duty today, too.  He's super nice, so I was okay with that.  Before  I was finished changing into the latest in IVF apparel (i.e., hospital gown and hair covering) and J had put on his scrubs, shoecovers, and his own hair covering, the doctor was ready to come in to talk to us.  He said he couldn't tell us the exact numbers but an embryologist would be in shortly to discuss that with us, but everything looked just great.  Given my age, that this was our first IVF cycle, that we'd never been pregnant, and that we had such a good response to stimulation, he was recommending that we transfer only one embryo.  He also said that he expected us to have several to freeze.  We told him we were okay with that, and he left. 

Then, the embryologist came in to talk to us.  She brought us a picture of our embryo that we'd be transferring--a grade A (I'll post it at the end), and gave us some information about the rest of our "babies."  Right now, we still have all 14 of the other fertilized eggs growing in the lab, so apparently either the 15th one caught up since Saturday, or maybe it was just not as progressed as the others.  They predict we'll have at least 3-5 to freeze.  Like I said, I should find out tomorrow.

The transfer was quick and fairly painless.  There was some pressure--mainly because my bladder was so full (they said I did an excellent job of filling it).  They even let J see the embryo before they put it in.  He said he was surprised at that.  Then they wheeled me back to my room to rest with my feet elevated for an hour.  The most agonizing hour of my life...I needed to empty my bladder in the worst way.  I had the option of using a bedpan after 20 minutes, but I was determined to wait it out.  Despite my asking J a hundred times what time it was so I'd know how much longer I had.  I was so relieved when she came in and told me that I'd made it!  I'll never take advantage of the opportunity to use the restroom again.  I'd like to credit my 9 years of teaching for the ability to hold my urine that long.  :-)

My dad had driven us because J wanted to work for a while today, so we had picked him up on our way out of town this morning.  We dropped him back off at work and headed home.  Mom met us here with lunch, and she "baby-sat" me the rest of the afternoon.  She just wanted to make sure that I didn't do anything I wasn't supposed to. 

So, here's a picture of our "baby."  I hope he/she gets all snuggly in there and settles in for 9 months.  (Oh, and per the title, if you don't know what PUPO means, I am now Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise.)

Looks just like J.  ;-)

Hugs and love,

Breaking news from the IVF Lab...

I called this morning (yeah, who actually waits until noon, I wonder?) to get an update from the lab, and was SHOCKED to hear what my message told me.  Yesterday, we had 15 fertilized eggs.  I was expecting may 7 or 8 of them to survive until today.  Well, Julie from the lab left me a message that said that on the second day after ICSI, they like to see 2-4 cells, preferrably four.  We have THIRTEEN (13) four-cell, grade B or better embryos!  I was totally shocked.  We are still on track for a day 5 transfer on Tuesday. 

I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up, but it's so hard when they keep telling me how good things look. 

Oh, and I'd like to give a shout-out to my newest "follower" and cycle buddy, Teresa, who is at the EXACT same point in her IVF cycle as I am!  What are the odds?  I'm so glad you stumbled upon my blog today.  I can't wait to wait with you!

In other news, Jax has had a big week as well.  Yesterday, he got his first haircut.  I can't get him to sit still long enough to take some new pictures.  Maybe later tonight.  Then, this morning, he went to the vet.  He did so great!  He didn't even whimper when he had to get a shot.  He had another accident after we got home from the grocery store, but we're still working on the whole house-breaking thing.  He'll get the hang of it!

Hope everybody is having a terrific weekend!

Hugs and love,

Fertilization Report

I was supposed to call my voicemail after noon today to check on the status of my eggs.  I cheated and called just a little bit early because my break ends at 12:05 and I wouldn't have another chance before school was out.  I'm glad I did, too, because they left the message at 8:30 this morning!

Of the 27 eggs they retrieved, 21 were mature.

Of the 21 mature eggs, 15 of them fertilized.

I call back tomorrow after noon for an update. 

I'm still pretty sore, but I thank you all for the lovely advice about everything (PIO injections, etc.).  I'll certainly hang on to those emails for reference.  Thanks everyone for the well wishes.  It truly does help to know you're pulling for us.

Hugs and love,

I survived my first IV

Today was retrieval day.  Let me begin by saying that J and I planned to go down last night, so as to reduce some of the stress of today by not having to leave the house super early (we had to be at the clinic at 7:30--80 miles away from home).  This might have worked as a stress-reducer had it not been the evening of the CMA awards.  Yeah, we had a little trouble finding a room, and paid way more than we wanted to.  *sigh*  If I had a nickel for every obstacle we've encountered during this whole process, I'd be rich.

But, I digress.  We arrived at the clinic late.  Ten minutes late.  I was worried about this, but they didn't seem to mind.  We were sitting in the waiting room before they'd turned all the lights on.  That's early, huh?  Soon, the OR nurse came out to get us and took us to our room for the day.  I traded in my sweatpants and comfy shirt for an air-conditioned gown and blue hat.  She came back in to go over some information, get my signature on some forms, and take my vital signs. 

Then came Vince.  He was the anesthesiologist.  He explained exactly what he was going to give me and then started the IV.  My first, by the way.  It was actually one of my biggest dreads of the entire process.  Silly, I know, but it's a scary thing for the first time.  I told him he did a good job on my first IV, and he marveled at the fact that I am 30 years old and it was my first one.  Honestly, the numbing shot hurt worse than the actual IV.  Man, that stuff stings!

Another OR nurse came in to talk to me, check my armband (despite the fact that I was the only retrieval today--but I appreciate their diligence with checking identification), and told me what to do when it came time to change beds.  The doctor came in to say hello and see if I had any last minute questions (it wasn't my doctor, but that's okay--he's the director of the clinic).  Then, it was showtime.  I remember Vince came in and shot something into my IV, but I do not remember even leaving the room.  The next thing I knew, the nurse was asking me if I'd like a soda or some juice.  And what did I reply, you might ask?  "I'll take whatever you have with no calories in it."  Geesh!  She said it was the first time anybody had ever asked for that.

I had to stay there for an hour to have my vitals monitored and to get some fluids through my IV.  Then, once I used the restroom I could leave.  I also had my first ride in a wheelchair.  Boy, it was a big day of firsts!  Before we left, they came in to tell us that they retrieved 27 eggs.  I should have an update tomorrow after noon, so I'll call my mailbox to check on them. 

We stopped by Kro.ger to pick up my prescriptions--one for pain, and one for the Vali.um I'm supposed to take back with me next week for the transfer. I'm feeling okay.  I slept on and off most of the day, but I decided that was allowed.  I'm a little crampy, but nothing major.  It actually hurts more when I am up moving around, so I guess I'll try to be still for a little while and see if that helps.  I have a mysterious bruise on my left leg and it's kind of sore.  Makes me wonder what idiotic thing I did while I was out of it.  The nurse recommended that I go ahead and take the pain pills today as directed (every 4 hours), and then tomorrow I can try switching to Tylenol as needed.  I'll likely sleep well tonight since they make me kind of groggy. 

I also survived my first injection of progesterone in oil (PIO) tonight.  J didn't give me the shot--our neighbor, who is a nurse, was kind enough to help us out with it.  But he did watch, and he may try it tomorrow night.  It didn't hurt as much as I was expecting it to.  I barely even felt it.  I guess I've got enough padding back there to take care of it!

Beta is scheduled for 11/26...the day after Thanksgiving.  I guess I'll have to skip the shopping this year.  But if that test is positive, it'll be totally worth it!

Hugs and baby dust,

Meet Jax

Our newest addition, Sir Jaxon Simba Hughes, in all his glory!

Jax meets Sam.

Jax loves playing with Mommy.

...and with daddy, too!

We cuddled all the way home, and he didn't even whine at all.  Yep, he's a snuggle-bunny, alright!

We had a big first night together--first, daddy gave Jax a bath.

Then, Jax helped daddy exercise.

And he loves to give kisses, too.

He loves to lay all sprawled out, whether it's on the couch with mommy and daddy or in the floor.

Watch out--it's SuperDog!

Jax, you might just turn me into a dog person after all.

Hugs,



Update

So sorry I haven't updated in a while.  In my last post, I updated on my second monitoring appointment and my failed attempt at administering Gani.relix on Friday night.  Well, J told me that there was no use stressing out over the injections on Saturday and Sunday--he'd just give them to me.  (He later admitted he was rather surprised that it wasn't any harder than that to poke me with a needle.  Hmm.  Should I worry about that?)  So, that's exactly what we did on Saturday evening and again on Sunday. 

On Monday morning, I had another appointment for monitoring.  It was just a bit later than the other appointments have been, and traffic was a breeze.  (Yay!)  However, there was a longer wait in ultrasound.  After I had my blood drawn, they sent me to another waiting area to wait my turn for the ultrasound.  Finally, the tech was ready for me.  She brought me a clipboard and a pen to record my own follicle sizes.  There were several between 15 and 20 mm, and I thought we were doing pretty good.  She told me that she would not be surprised to see me today (Tuesday) or Wednesday or both.  We were almost there, but not quite.  I felt deflated.  I was so sure we'd be triggering that night and going in for retrieval on Wednesday.  She said that she'd been wrong before, though, so be sure and check my voicemail box for instructions later today.

I did.  Again, and again, and again.  From 2:00 on, I checked that mailbox every ten minutes.  Sometimes more often.  Nothing.  No messages.  I had a meeting at school at 2:40, and a meeting at the bank with J at 4:30.  In between those meetings, I called and called and called again.  Still nothing.  I'd decided that if I still had no messages at 4:15, I'd call and talk to a real person.  Well, as it happens, I was driving at the time.  Just as the phone was ringing in to the clinic, my phone beeped with another call and it over-rode the one I was making for some reason.  By the time I got off the phone, the sun was in a very bad position--blinding me--and I decided it was not safe to try the call again.  Besides, I was almost to the bank. 

Long story short, I never did get a message and as we waited for the loan officer to be ready for us, I couldn't stop they tears.  J assured me that we would get in contact with somebody, even if we had to page the on-call doctor, as soon as we were finished with the bank.  I dried it up, but I just new this error in communication would result in the cancellation of our cycle.  All that money and time and effort down the drain.  Sometime during our meeting--shortly before 5:00, my phone rang.  I excused myself and answered it.  It was my nurse!  She said that someone was supposed to call me to let me know my instructions, but they hadn't signed off on it and she wanted to make sure I had the plan.  Thank you, nurse Kelli.  You saved my night!  She said that the doctor was pleased with how things were going, but she wanted me to stim for one more night.  So, I kept with my 225 IU of Foll.istim, Gani.relix, and 1 mg of Dexa.methasone.  Then, I had to go back today for another round of bloodwork and ultrasound. 

J ended up taking off to go with me this morning.  He just didn't want me to go alone.  Sweet.  I'm a big girl, though, and I think I'd have been okay.  I was glad to have the company, though.  And I really do enjoy it when he's with me.  Things looked even better this morning.  This afternoon, nurse Kelli called me personally.  Forget that mailbox stuff.  I guess she wanted to make sure that I knew what to do plenty early.  We trigger tonight at 9:30, go in tomorrow for one last estradiol test, and retrieval is set for Thursday morning at 8:30.  We have to be at the clinic at 7:30, though, so we're going to stay the night in Nash.ville. 

Oh, in other news, there's a brand new "baby" at our house.  On Sunday, J and I picked up our miniature schnauzer.  Pics to come later tonight or tomorrow.  He's precious! 

Happy Tuesday!

Hugs and baby dust,

I thought I could, I thought I could...

Today started with a trip to the clinic for my second monitoring appointment. This time, J accompanied me because we planned to go out of town to visit some friends of ours in the Smokey Mountains to check out the Christmas Festival. We arrived early, and were taken right back. The tech brought in a sheet for J to record numbers on as she checked my ovaries for follies, and we were both surprised at the number of follicles she actually counted. There were about 20 measurable ones today! There were two at 13mm, one or two at 12mm, several at 10mm, and a few smaller ones.


As soon as we were finished—by 9:20—we headed out of town. I was instructed to call this afternoon to check my voicemail box for instructions and the results of my bloodwork. Periodically, I’d check it, but there was no new message for me until almost 2:00. That’s when Kelli, my nurse, left me a message telling me that everything is progressing nicely. My estradiol level was 1,371 and because I have so many follicles, they are going to reduce my dosage of Foll.istim. So, for tonight I should take 75IU, then take none tomorrow morning. Tomorrow evening and Sunday evening, I’ll take 225IU of Foll.istim (that’s down from a total of 300 on days prior), and beginning tonight (Friday), I’ll add the Gani.relix injections. Simple. No problem. Oh, and I go back on Monday morning for the next round of monitoring.

I happily wrote down all the notes I needed to remember and we headed out to the Dixie Stam.pede. The show was great, by the way! When we returned to our friends’ house, we were all just sitting around talking, and my alarm went off on my I.pod. I darted upstairs to take care of my Gani.relix injecting, thinking it would be as easy as the Foll.istim. Boy, was I wrong! I truly admire those of you who gave ALL of your own injections. I guess I’m just a wuss. Here’s what happened:

I washed my hands and cleaned off an area of my belly for the injection. Then, I was stricken with that same fear that I had before my first Foll.istim injection. I stood there for a few moments trying to psyche myself up for the shot. But I just couldn’t do it. I made an attempt, but it was apparently a poor one and the needle didn’t break the skin. That kind of freaked me out a little bit. I tried a couple more times, but I couldn’t even make myself touch skin those times. I even got out a Foll.istim pen needle to compare—yep, they were the same size. Why couldn’t I do this injection? I worked myself into such a frenzy that my stomach started to hurt and I had to put all my materials down to use the restroom before I made myself sick.

In the interest of following protocol, I assumed that the best practice would be to recap the needle (although, I suppose the best practice would have been to give the stupid injection already). That was fine until I went to try again. The needle was bent.  Boo-hoo-hoo. Now I have a worthless $102 syringe filled with medicine. (I have a plan for this if I need it, though.) Luckily, I thought ahead and brought three with me (knowing I would need a maximum of two), so I repackaged the damaged goods and pulled out a fresh one. J caught me getting the new syringe and asked me what was wrong. I briefed him before heading back to the bathroom. About five minutes or so later, he knocked on the door. When I let him in, the tears started flooding. He asked me what was wrong, and I just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I just couldn’t do it. I had pleaded with myself in the mirror. I’d prayed that God would will that needle to just go in. I’d even taken another unsuccessful stab at it—pun intended. For some reason, I could not plunge that needle into my stomach. J was so great. He gently wiped away my tears and told me that I didn’t have to do this all by myself. He would help me. He said it was the least he could do after all I had already done. He bragged on me for being so brave and doing all of the injections myself up until this point. Then he asked where it (the needle) needed to go. I lifted my shirt, re-wiped the area (with a new alcohol wipe, as the first one had dried), and pinched the skin for him. He warned me that it may sting (it didn’t—I barely even felt it), and I was relieved to hear the plunger going in on the syringe. That meant he’d done it. And I wouldn’t have to.

So, I guess I’m not as brave as I thought I was. I thought I had this thing whipped. Turns out I’m just a big chicken who can’t jab herself with a tiny little needle. Thank you, Lord, for sending me my husband. Tonight, he came to my rescue when I needed him most. I don’t know what I would have done without him.

Happy weekend, all!

Hugs and baby dust,

First monitoring appointment...

...went well.  I was in and out of there a lot faster than I thought I would be.  My mom accompanied me to the clinic again, and the traffic wasn't quite as bad as last week (but almost).  So, we arrived about ten minutes earlier than last time.  They called me right back, drew my blood, and sent me to a room to get ready for the ultrasound. 

I wasn't expecting to leave there with much information, as I didn't think the tech would tell me anything.  But as she was performing the ultrasound, she told me that she could see four follicles, all less than 10mm on my right ovary, and on my left ovary there were two measuring at 10mm and five less than 10mm.  I was just relieved that something was growing in there!  Last night I had the awful realization that I could get there today and nothing be going on in there. (I'm not usually like that--I don't know what got into me.) 

When I finally had an update in my voicemail box this afternoon, my nurse just told me that everything looks really good and that I should keep my medication dosage the same until I come back on Friday.  So, there you have it, folks.  That's all I know.  She didn't tell me my estradiol level.  It doesn't matter.  The number wouldn't have meant anything to me anyway, but I sure could have googled the heck out of it!

I slept HORRIBLY last night.  I woke up at 2:30 and tossed and turned trying to get back to sleep.  Finally, I drifted off around 5:00--just in time for the alarm to go off at 5:30.  I think I feel a short nap coming on before I have to cook dinner.  Happy Wednesday, all!

Hugs and baby dust,

Stims day 2 and 3

So I had a hard time coming up with a second or third verse for my "Twelve Days of Christmas" parody, so I skipped them.  I will say, though, that days 2 and 3 of stims have gone okay.  I wouldn't call self-injecting my new favorite hobby or anything, but it's certainly bearable.  It still stings for about 10 minutes post-injection, but it's manageable. 

In other news, J and I are considering getting a puppy.  A miniature schnauzer, to be exact.  J works with a couple who have one and they recommended it as a good dog for children (aw, the eternal optimist).  Plus, they don't shed, which is possibly my favorite thing.  We went by to look at them on Sunday afternoon, but we're scheduled to go out of town next weekend and didn't want to bring it home and then have to leave it someplace so soon.  But, the breeder agreed to let us pick it up next Sunday when we return. 

This is a big deal for me.  I'm not really a dog person.  Please don't read this wrong--it's not that I'm anti-dog or anything, it's just that until MIL moved in with us, I had never lived in a house with a dog before.  My aunt always had a dog (first a Beagle mix followed by 2 different-yet-look-alike cocker spaniels), so I've been around dogs my whole life; but I've never lived with one in my house.  So I went from nothing to a 12-year old bassett hound (who can't seem to let me out of his sight, I might add).  We have our differences.  He likes to lay on the new red area rug and I would rather he didn't.  He whines and barks from 5:00 on and I'd rather sleep than hear it.  But J thinks he's lonely.  He's never been an "only dog" before.

So now the big question is what to name the new puppy.  We've thrown some names out there: Jax, Simba, Shakespeare just to name a few that we can agree on.  J insists that he have a middle name, and I insisted that he not have a typical "people" name (no offense to those of you with pets with people names...it's just not for me).  We don't want a common dog name like Fido or Spot or anything (again, no offense if you have a dog named Spot).  Geesh!  If we're having this much trouble naming a dog, I can't imagine the difficulty we'll have in naming our children!  (Disclaimer: actually, that's already been discussed and possibly decided on.)  I didn't have my camera with me, but the puppies look something like this:

If anybody has any suggestions, feel free to share them.  I'll post some pics as soon as we're all settled.

Hugs and baby dust,