Okay, so what gives?

I wish I could figure out what the heck is going on with my body this month! For starters, DH and I were getting a little "cautiously excited" about my temp chart. Granted, I warned him that the whole thing could just be a fluke, but normally my temps are just very erratic. Not this month...they were low, low, low before O, then consistently higher after O. At the very least, a very clear thermal shift took place. I don't normally share my chart with DH, but when I mentioned that it was driving me nuts, he asked to see it. (Then, of course, I had to explain what it all meant.)

TMI Warning...
For the past 10 cycles or so, I've had some brownish spotting a day or two before AF really starts. I've always heard not to count the first cycle day until there is red flow, so I haven't counted these spotty days. Most months, my LP has been around 12-14 days. I know this is supposed to be the same each month, but I suppose my O day could have been a little off some months since my temps are not always reliable.

Anywho, I wasn't expecting AF until Friday (well, I was hoping to ward her off for the next nine months, but ...), and my temp had only dropped a hair yesterday. I felt fine--no killer cramps like usual, so imagine my surprise when I went to the restroom before bed to discover a nice brown spot staining my new undies. For a moment, I froze. I honestly didn't know what to do. I finally snapped out of my stupor, put in a panty liner, and cried myself to sleep. (Yes, I had to explain to DH what took me so long in the bathroom--he thought I was sick or something.) Fast forward now to this morning. Still, no cramps, which is TOTALLY not like me. My first two days of a typical AF, I do not even want to be around humans at all. I want to lie curled up in a little ball and sleep away the hours until I can take more pain killers. So, I thought maybe I just imagined the whole thing. I went to the restroom before jumping in the shower, and there was really just enough on the pantyliner to let me know it was there. It was still mostly brown, "dirty-looking." After my shower, I decided to play it safe and go ahead and wear a tampon to work today, so I wouldn't have a mess to clean up later. (Plus, I don't have the luxury of going to the restroom any time I want during the day.) I contemplated taking some pain reliever before I left home as a preventive measure, but decided against it since I wasn't actually hurting at all.

I stayed very busy today, even during my break, so I didn't make it to the restroom (which is not uncommon) until I got home this afternoon. Despite the lack of cramps, I was still expecting somewhat of a mess. I was quite surprised to see my (MAJOR TMI) almost-stark-white-yet-used tampon. There was barely anything there at all, and I had worn it all day long! What gives?!?!?! I reverted to the pantyliner and will see what happens. I just don't understand this.

To make matters worse, I went to the office today to give something to our school secretary, and she was on her cell phone talking to her daughter. She's pregnant (the daughter), and they were sending her to the hospital for an induction because her blood pressure is a little high. I just about lost it. Luckily, I made it back to my classroom before I had a major meltdown. I spent the last 25 minutes of my planning time sobbing in my room. (I was grateful that my students didn't notice my red eyes when they returned from art class.)

So, I hope your day was better than mine. I wish I knew what was going on with me. I just want to move on and start all over. I wish AF would just STOP playing tricks!


Love and hugs,

Plop, plop, fizz, fizz..........so where's the relief?

I had an absolutely miserable weekend. Yeah, I know it's Tuesday, but I just didn't feel like logging on yesterday at all. (And just so you know, it's unlike me to NOT want to write or get online.) So, my weekend didn't start out so bad. On Friday evening, DH and I took our W.i.i. Fit over to my parents' house to play some games. I was just excited to get out of the house after being cooped up for two whole days. (I'm a wuss, I know.) Then, on Saturday we went out for lunch, it being splurge day and all. My MIL met us for lunch, and then we ventured to Wal.Ma.rt and the grocery store before heading home.

That night, DH decided that we should have pizza for dinner, since it was still splurge day. So we ordered one and picked it up. It was so good! (Probably because we have takeout pizza about once every couple of months now!) But at about 2:30 the next morning, I was regretting it. I can't be 100% sure it's the pizza, but I woke up with the most horrendous heartburn I've ever had in my life. I've had a couple of rounds with it like this before, but it always went away within about a half hour. Not this time. I got up, took a couple of Ro.lai.ds, and sat curled up on one end of the couch. This is my normal routine when this happens, but it did not provide any relief this time. No matter what I tried, I just couldn't get comfortable. It hurt straight through to my back. I paced the floors, drank water, sat, stood....you name it, I tried it. Finally, at around 4:30, it eased off a bit. I tried to go back to sleep, and I must have finally drifted off because the alarm woke me up at 5:30 to take my temp. I knew it wouldn't even come close to being accurate, but I took it anyway, with the intent to sleep for a few more hours and take it again to compare. I did manage to get a couple of good hours of sleep, but when I got up for good at around 8:30, I still felt pretty rotten. I jumped in the shower, hoping that would make me feel better. It didn't. The heartburn never quite went away, either. It was much less intense than earlier that morning, but nevertheless still present.

We got dressed and went to my grandmother's house for lunch, as planned, knowing better than to mention that I wasn't feeling so hot. (My GM is a worrier by trade.) My next challenge, I thought, would be to pass her "plate inspections." You see, my grandmother is obsessed with making sure everyone has enough food on their plates. Never mind if she's eating anything or not, we'd better be getting plenty! Sadly, when we arrived we found out her cat had died that morning. (I felt so bad for her.) On a lighter note, though, no one noticed that I only ate some mashed potatoes and half of a roll. That was the blandest food I found on the table.

On Sunday night, though, it all hit again. DH and I got home around 5:30, a bit later than usual, but we had been very involved in a game of "Im.ag.in.iff." (Incidentally, if you haven't played it, it's a great game!) After a bit of dinner, we settled in to watch some DVDs. I decided to get comfy and change into my PJs. So, I'm all curled up on the couch covered up in my favorite blanket, and it strikes again...that now familiar feeling of heartburn. Mind you, I thought I was over the worst of it, seeing that it hadn't flared back up all day long. However, I had failed to realize that it hadn't quite gone away yet, either. Now, there was no ignoring it. Again, I wallowed around trying to get comfortable, to no avail. DH kept asking what he could do for me. (He's so sweet.) Finally, it eased off and I decided to go to bed while I was semi-comfortable in case it hit again in the middle of the night. At least I would have gotten a little rest. It didn't get unbearable for the rest of the night, but I did my share of tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position. On Monday morning, I must have looked pretty rough. DH asked me, "So, did you get ANY sleep last night?" Oh, my! I hope I didn't disturb him with all of my tossing! After another brief spell of the nasty stuff around lunch time yesterday, I was dreading nighttime again. Anyway, he works across the hall from my OB/GYN's office, and he went over and told them I was having this problem and we had to do something about it. (My family doctor is out of town right now, so he couldn't tell him instead.) So my dear, sweet husband came home with a prescription for Ome.pra.zo.le (I think this is generic Pr.ilo.sec). Isn't he the greatest! Since I hadn't started cooking dinner yet, I went ahead and took one last night. So far, so good. I haven't had any signs of that dreaded heartburn today. (Crossing fingers, knocking on wood.)

We're still out of school because of the snow. I live and teach in a county with lots of back roads and hills, so it's not completely surprising. I hope we go back soon. Don't get me wrong--I enjoy snow days as much as anyone, but I didn't want them all at the same time!

I hope everyone is staying warm. We're finally going to get above freezing tomorrow (at least, according to the weather forecast.)

Until next time...


Love and Hugs,

Gotta Love a Snow Day!

Well, I'm home all by my lonesome today. I went back to work on Monday after a two-week Christmas break, but a winter storm caused school to be cancelled for the day. My students were very excited about the potential "day off," but it was my duty as their teacher to try and keep order and curb that excitement for three whole days this week. (This has been forecast for several days now--and it is acutally not nearly as bad as once predicted. So far, I've not accomplished much around the house; but I did manage to get my workout done already, so at least I've been productive, right?

DH took my car to work (since his Mu.st.ang doesn't like the snow), so I'm homebound. It's looking like we're about to get another round, too, so I might just be stuck here tomorrow, too.

So, lately, DH has been entertaining the idea of adding on to our house. I think it's nuts, but he says it is an "investment." I don't know why in the world we need more space. Our house, first of all, is not old--I built it in '05. Secondly, it's not tiny. We don't live in a mansion, mind you, but we have 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. And it doesn't look like we're going to be filling those bedrooms anytime soon. But I digress...last night while I was getting ready for bed, he said, "Can you bring a notebook with you when you come to bed?" Seems an odd request. Forget the nightie...we're playing hangman!? Turns out he just wanted to show me his sketched out ideas for our new "additions." I did not squash the idea, but I apparently was less than enthusiastic about the whole project. If only I had a reason to believe we'd be needing extra bedrooms...

In other news, I'm on CD15, about to O any time now (probably within the next couple of days--day 16 seems to be my norm lately). I was remaining optimistic this cycle until this week hit. We've hardly had any BD time at all. I know this is just going to lead to an argument, too. This is how I picture it will go: by Saturday, we will have managed to find some of that "connection" time, but DH will figure out where we are in the cycle. Then he'll say something like, "Well, we could have tried more, but you never seemed interested." or "Well, you didn't tell me it was the crucial time!" Yeah! On purpose, too! If I tell him what cycle day we're on, there's too much pressure. He says that's not the problem, that there isn't "pressure," but I think that's exactly why we have a hard time when he has all the facts.

*****Possible TRIGS*****
On last thing...I recently signed up for an email coupon program sponsored by our local news program. Each Wednesday, they send a collection of special coupons to your inbox for area businesses. Yesterday was the first installment of the program, and I, the unsuspecting consumer, opened the mail without thinking about the possiblity of emotional triggers. As I scrolled down the page, I was not suprised to see coupons for food, oil changes, tires, etc. Normal "coupon mint" type stuff, right? Imagine my surprise to see this coupon tucked in the corner of the page:

Wow! Now, if I needed this service, I'd certainly appreciate this coupon. But, as a woman struggling with IF, I found it to be a slap in the face. I did not express this to DH, who would only say I am overreacting, but I couldn't keep the tears from stinging my eyes as I quickly closed this email message and tried to distract myself with dinner preparations. Am I overly sensitive? Probably. But these guys need a lesson in sensitivity. Maybe I'm the one to teach it to them. I think they just might get a piece of my mind before this SNOW DAY is over!

I suppose I should end this post on a positive note. DH and I have been married for two and a half years today. He's put up with me every single day for the past 30 months. I never would have believed that we'd have spent 28 of those months trying to expand our family....with absolutely no luck. I suppose I'll hold out hope for the 3 year mark...

Hope everyone is staying warm!

Love and Hugs,