I had a dream...

I tried to do some research about how long the average dream is, but all I could find was a bunch of opinions.  It's always been my understanding, though, that they last only seconds or a few short minutes at best.  This amazes me because normally, when I've had a dream that I remember after waking, I can tell you about it in such great detail that it surely took all night for it to play out.  And how is it that I normally have "background information?"  Things that did not happen IN the dream, yet I have all of the pertinent information to know what's going on without questions?  I guess this is where the logical side of my brain meets up with the creative one.

Last night (or sometime this morning, rather), I dreamt that I was pregnant.  Now, this was not just any typical, sunshine-and-rainbows type of life situation, mind you...this was truly the dream of an infertile.  Apparently, there had been multiples (that was never mentioned, just something I "understood" in my dream).  I'm guessing twins.  But we had lost one of them already.  I was at an appointment at the RE's (which was kinda crazy since I wouldn't still be going there at this point, but she was definitely the doctor I was seeing) and expecting the worst.  I just knew that she was going to tell me that the surviving twin wasn't still surviving.  (Though it was, again, just background information rather than something I "experienced" in the dream, I think ther had been some spotting and such.)  She inserted the ultrasound probe (kinda sad that I had to dream about that, huh?) and I commenced to cry.   I braced myself, waiting for the bad news, and refused to even look at the screen.  After a few seconds, the silence was pierced with, "Everything looks great!  Keep using the Lov.enox" and resting as much as you can!"  I snapped my head around in disbelief.  There was the unmistakeable flutter of a heartbeat on the screen I tried so hard to avoid.

I won't bore you with the dialogue that followed, but suffice it to say the dream started on a very somber note and ended in tears of joy.  There was even a scene of announcing to perfect strangers (IRL, my RE's office is in another state, after all) at the mall that I was still pregnant.  I woke up in reall tears.  Maybe this was just to let me know that everything is going to be okay after all.  I can survive shots every day, even if I can't work up the nerve to self-inject for a little while.  I have to believe it's all going to work or there is no use in trying.

Then, reality set in.  Now I'm doing laundry because I bled through my pajamas.  AF and aspirin don't play nicely together.  *Sigh*  At least I didn't have to strip the bed two days in a row.

Hugs and love,