Strike 3

I'm out.  After cramping all night long, I woke up this morning and tested just to ease my mind.  I don't like unpleasant surprises, and didn't want to hear it first hand on the phone Monday morning. 

**********MAJOR TMI WARNING**********
Ever since my last 24 hour urine test, I've used the "collection receptacle" they gave me when using hpts or opks.  It's much more convenient than the empty whipped topping bowl I used to use.  Well, when I stood up from the toilet this morning, it was filled with red liquid.  I knew instantly that I was wasting my time (and my hpt).  Sure enough, 10 minutes later, the test told me what my heart already knew. 

Yes, I'm sad.  But I'm thankful to have had another opportunity.  We do still have 4 embryos frozen and we will try again.  Someday.  I don't know when.  Right now, my brain says wait until summer break, but I don't know if I'll change my mind.  I hate missing so much school.  I really felt a lot more stress in preparing for those days this go around. 

I'm going to preface this by saying that I am about the least superstitious person in the world.  That being said, I should have known this wouldn't be IT for us.  It was our third try.  Threes have not been kind to us.  On our first cycle, it was our THIRD beta that told us we were having a biochemical pregnancy.  Our second cycle, our THIRD ultrasound revealed that the heartbeat had stopped.  It just wasn't in the cards this time.

I don't know what the next step is.  I still have to go to beta on Monday, but I know what it's going to say.  Maybe the RE can see us for a follow-up next week while we're in Nash.ville anyway.  That way, at least I wouldn't have to take anymore time off work.  Not this time.

Thank you all for your encouragement and kind words.  You mean more to me than you will ever know.

Hugs and love,