Beta Day

You're going to be disappointed.  I have nothing to report.  Let me explain...

I did not sleep well last night.  AT ALL.  For one thing, my allergies were really acting up yesterday and I could hardly breathe.  I was propped up on two pillows and still had to breathe through my mouth.  J and I went to bed, finished watching the Cardinals game and I turned over to go to sleep a little after 11:00.  I'm not sure when I drifted off, but I woke up around 2:10 and could not go back to sleep.  I tried....and tried...and then I gave up.  I got up and did some paperwork I had forgotten to do earlier (one was for an upcoming reservation and the other was the survey for the fertility clinic regarding our transfer experience in the surgery center).  That killed a good 15 minutes.  I went back to bed to try again, but had no luck.  I snuggled with Jax for a while and finally drifted off again after 4:30.  The good news was, I could breathe out of one nostril this time, so I was more comfortable.  Until the alarm went off at 5:30.

It was beta day, and I don't know if that contributed to my insomnia.  I can't imagine why it would as I'm positive it's a negative result.  We took our time getting dressed and left for the clinic just a tad later than we normally leave fo work.  I signed in and we walked over to the hospital for breakfast.  To be perfectly honest, I was not the least bit hungry.  But J made me eat.  I told him I felt a bit like this was the IF equivalent of a "pity interview."  You know...the one where they interview you for the job knowing good and well it was already going to someone else.  A formality of sorts. 

It took some prodding, but they finally squeezed a little blood out.  I saw the order--it was sent out STAT.  I still haven't heard the "official" results.  I've decided that they were bad (which I knew) and nobody wanted to call me so they spent the day passing the buck.

It's bad enough that I konw this cycle was a bust...it would have been nice to have had the official word today so we can mentally and emotionally move on. 

On that note, the bleeding seems to have slowed down some, which is good.  Unusual for this point, but I'll take it.  We've begun discussing when we might want to try this again.  We figure we have (at best) 2 tries left.  Forever.  So we have to make them count.  I'm just going to work on reducing the stressors in my life and try to make the best of things.  It's all I know to do.

Maybe they'll call me tomorrow.  I guess we'll try to check first thing in the morning to make sure the results (whatever they are) were sent to NFC.  *Sigh*  At least I'm not at school this week.  Thank Goodness for fall break.

Hugs and love,