I've never played darts...

This morning was Lu.pron shot #4. They've been going just fine...just a little pinch when the needle goes in. J's been giving me the shots. He tells me how brave I am, but I feel like a wuss because he gave me the shot.

This morning, however, things changed. I got up and prepared my syringe like I have every morning. After waiting for it to warm up, I got back up to get this job done. J didn't hear me get up, I guess, because he was snoozing away.

I looked in the mirror and told myself I could do this...I wiped down with my alcohol pad and everything I've ever known or read about self-injecting ran through my head. For some reason, the part about jabbing quickly-as if you were throwing a dart-stuck in my brain. That's when I realized I have never played darts. I decided I just couldn't do this fast. I peeked around the corner to see if maybe J was awake after all...then got mad at myself for doing so. He wasn't. So, I did the only thing I knew to do.

I wiped down with alcohol again. That bought me another 20 seconds. By this time my hands were all sweaty and I considered washing them again. Instead, I just reminded myself how ridiculous this was an I had to just do this. But the quick-jab method just didn't work for me. I just couldn't do it that way. Instead, I put the tip of the needle against my skin and just pushed gently until it broke skin. To my surprise, it worked. And it didn't even hurt.

We'll see if I can do it in under 10 minutes tomorrow.