That's what I was told today. I was at a meeting of approximately 45-ahem-older ladies from my tiny county. At the lunch break, one of them told me, "You look awfully happy. Do you have any news to share?" I think she was thinking maybe I needed to tell her I was expecting. I just laughed it off and said, "No, no news from me. Sorry." What I wanted to say was Yeah, I've had news to share. Twice. I just didn't make it far enough to tell it. But I knew she meant well, and I wouldn't have hurt her feelings for the world.
Then, I felt guilty. Guilty that I gave the impression of being a happy, happy soul. Don't get me wrong. I'm not exactly unhappy with my life, but I don't want the people who knew about our situation to think I have forgotten or taken lightly what I have lost. I know that life must go on, and good things are waiting for me around the corner. I just don't quite feel right acting like everything is hunky-dory when my body hasn't gotten rid of all the evidence yet. Does that make sense? Probably not.
I have to just keep in my head that while the stumbling blocks along my journey have made me who I am, but they are not the only things that define my character. As the guest speaker at our meeting today said, there are a lot of things about my life over which I have no control. The only thing I can manage is my attitude. So, I'll take that lady's comment as a compliment. Maybe I'm giving off a good attitude toward my tribulations.
*Sigh* It's getting too deep in here. I'm gonna go take a short nap before it's time to fix dinner.
Hugs and love,
Thursday, June 16, 2011
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2 comments:
Yes, I think that's a compliment - bad stuff happens, but you're not allowing it to define you. You deal with it as it comes. And that shows your incredible strength and character - and faith.
Your awesome attitude shines through your written words, too.
((Hugs))
Controling one's attitude can be sooo very hard! I think you have such a wonderful attitude. You being positive helps keep me postive, and I'm sure I'm not the only one you have that affect on.
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