In the middle of June, one of my wisdom teeth chipped (the one I TRIED to have removed right after Lincoln was born but was told that it wasn't worth the risk given my age). The very next day (while I was debating whether to call the dentist or tough it out until my regular appointment in a couple of weeks), the cyst on top of my head ruptured...so I had bigger problems to deal with. While it was kind of scary, no harm was done. I did freak out just a little bit, but it finally stopped oozing, and now I can wear headbands again. (I did make an appointment with the dermatologist, though I couldn't be seen for 5 months, and she said it was nothing to worry about unless they bothered me.)
Last week, I revisited the dentist for another checkup and mentioned the off-and-on trouble the broken wisdom tooth had given me (there were moments when I'd have cut it out myself if I knew how). The next day, they got me in to see an oral surgeon for a consult. Since I didn't want to be out of school - our district was already closed for 3 days due to excessive illness - they allowed me to schedule surgery for May. So, I'll be starting my summer break with having all 4 wisdom teeth removed at age 37.
A few weeks ago, Lincoln started packing a bag as soon as we got home for the day. I asked him where he was going, and he said he had to get ready to go live with his new mommy and daddy. When I asked why he was leaving, he said because he needed brothers and sisters. Talk about a knife in the heart. We've worked so hard to give him things...and we play with him...but the one thing he asks for I can't give. My heart shattered. We've casually mentioned looking into adoption. There's still a lot of love in my heart for the large family we always wanted. I guess we'll see where it goes. I'm not ready to be done.
It's been an exceptionally challenging school year. Some of my colleagues have seen personal and professional struggles, and I've tried to be helpful in all those situations. We don't feel truly supported by our administration, so it's up to us to support one another. While I love my students dearly, it's so very hard to meet all of their individual needs sometimes. We're truly blessed to have each other. One of my closest teaching partners is working on her Principal's certification. It pains me to see the lack of support she has received, and I hope she knows I'm sincere when I tell her how much she rocks. I've considered attempting the National Board Certification process to earn my Rank I status, but I'm not convinced it will work well in our current school setup. Plus, it's largely dependent on administrative support to meet deadlines, etc. I guess I'm not ready to be done.
I suppose that's enough for today. I'm rambling. I guess I named my blog appropriately.
2 comments:
I feel you! I remember when Connor started complaining and begging for a sibling. I've always wanted 3 kids. DH is content at 2.....so with #3 looming over our heads and not knowing if baby M will be joining us or not, it has created alot of tension and frustration. All I keep doing is praying about it.
Adoption is tough. I can't undo our past, but I can say that I wish we would have done it sooner....then I wouldn't have either of my kids. I will suggest foster care. In my county they have TONS of babies and not enough foster parents. Given your profession, I'm sure the system would love to place with you. We paid 40k for Connor's adoption. From a friends recent attempt to adopt #3 and our Dr also trying to adopt, their seem to be very few babies for placement over the past couple of years. I wish we would have become foster parents sooner to be honest. Toss the idea around.....
http://www.nacac.org/adoptionsubsidy/stateprofiles/kentucky.html
Kentucky looks to have good benefits as far as maintenance and support payments. Let me know if you ever have any questions. We had GPS classes to get certification that took 10 weeks. Most of the families in our class had immediate placements. Who knows, you could have a baby by the end of the year!!
Try to keep up blogging. I have spells like that. I don't think I posted the first 2 years of Connor's life LOL
So glad to hear from you Angie! Misty is definitely a great resource for info on foster/adoption.
How heartbreaking about Lincoln. I don't know what I would have done...probably just cried! Although to be honest I think my oldest sometimes resents having siblings, especially the littlest ones.
So sorry about your wisdom teeth...that's definitely no fun. Hope all goes well when you finally get to do it.
Good luck if you decide to go for rank. Such a shame you don't have a supportive school/school system. That is so unfortunate, and makes no sense. We need our teachers!!!
Don't stay away too long!! You are missed here!
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