I'm hyper-emotional this morning for some reason. I have thought a lot about what "could have been", and perhaps allowing myself one more episode of sadness over the losses of the past year. Later, my family will gather to celebrate this season of love, and tomorrow we will host Christmas dinner at our home for both sides of our family. While there will be no visible vacancies from last year, which is a blessing by its own right, my heart knows of one. I don't know why it's hit me so hard this morning. I thought I was "over it." That loss was months ago. I have grieved. I have mourned. I have soaked up all the Lincoln I could (is it possible to love a child too much?). I thought I had moved on with one more memory of "my babies."
Maybe I will be better after I've had my annual Mello Yello (in memory of my grandmother). Merry Christmas to anyone reading this. I hope you have the best one yet.
1 comments:
Three years ago? It feels like only yesterday I was reading about how you were going to make the big announcement. I'm still in the same boat I was back then... *sigh* But hey I might have a foster kid soon and maybe that'll help. Would be nice for some kind of change around here. Anyway...
I think it's perfectly normal to have some sad times here and there, as long as you're not sad all the time, you know? Just because there's not a visible loss, there definitely is one there and it was precious to you. I don't think you'll ever forget it, but try not to dwell on it either and it will hurt less and less as time goes by. *hugs* I'm healing from a different kind of loss of my own and it's been a couple years now, still not something I like to think about. :\
Post a Comment